Category — Bread

I know, I know. It’s been too long since I’ve had a weekday post, again. But, I finally have made it through the kids’ last two weeks of school. Any parent with a school aged-child knows what I am talking about: 4 different field trips, overdue library books to round up, cookies to bake for class parties (ohh, did you say cookies?), teacher thank-you gifts, bookbags overflowing with papers from a cleaned out desk, and bittersweet moments of watching your baby grow up. Yes, all this, times THREE children makes a blogger too busy. Thankfully, I’ve made it through all of this. And now begins. Summer. Vacation. I have no idea how I will fit in blogging this summer, but I do hope that it is easier to find the time rather than harder. I guess we will see.

Some of you may remember my very first post, where I gave up my favorite biscuit recipe. Well. I’ll be honest, I’ve been tweaking my biscuit recipe over the last couple of months because sometimes they just tasted a little “blah.” I’ve finally gotten the biscuit recipe to the point where I seriously salivate every time I say the word “biscuit”. And I want to share the new improved version. These are a little more work, but oh-so-worth it when you are in the mood for the best damn biscuit ev-ah.

This recipe comes from a hodge podge of ideas. It started with Orangette, and then I read an article about The Flying Biscuit Cafe (which I WILL visit soon), and from there I just started mish-mashing until I got what I was looking for. Let me know what you think.

Enough already, here you go.

The Better Biscuit

4 Cups All Purpose Flour
2 Tablespoons baking powder
2 teaspoons salt
1/2 cup butter
2 cups buttermilk (approximately)
2 tablespoons cream
1-2 teaspoons granulated sugar

Mix flour, baking powder, and salt.

Use a pastry blender, fork, or fingers to cut in cold butter. I like to use my fingers and sort of “rub” the butter into the flour. I leave some big bits and some little bits.

Pour in buttermilk and mix just until everything is very moist. The dough should not be liquid, but it will be very wet. You can add a bit more buttermilk if necessary, or a bit less.

Generously sprinkle flour on work area and turn wet dough out. This dough is very difficult to work with, because it is so wet. (That’s what she said! HA! Sorry, I just couldn’t stand it one more minute.) Just flour your hands and the board (or counter) very well and be prepared to get messy! (That’s what she Er, uh, never mind.)

Flour hands and gently pat and press dough into a 1 inch thick circle. The goal here is to work with the dough as little as possible. This will keep them from being tough or chewy.

Use a biscuit cutter or an upside down glass to cut into rounds. You can re-work the scrap dough once to make more biscuits. Don’t work it multiple times or the dough will become overworked and chewy. Oh, and look, I bought a biscuit cutter! I’m seriously moving up in the world. I found this bad boy, along with a smaller cutter and a bigger cutter (as a set), for a dollar. I don’t feel too bad about buying a biscuit cutter (when a glass works just as well) when I only spent a dollar. Although, just 84 more dollars with the 1 dollar I spent on that biscuit cutter and I would have had enough for that hot little summer purse I’ve been eyeballing. *Sigh* Yes, well, getting back to the biscuits now.

Use a spatula to move the biscuits to a baking sheet or stone.

Now, because these aren’t nearly bad enough for our hips, arteries, or complexion; brush a small amount of cream on the top of each biscuit and sprinkle the top with sugar. This is the super yummy part.

Bake at 450 degrees for 12-14 minutes.

Without pictures:

The Better Biscuit

4 Cups All Purpose Flour
2 Tablespoons baking powder
2 teaspoons salt
1/2 cup butter
2 cups buttermilk (approximately)
2 tablespoons cream
1-2 teaspoons granulated sugar

Mix flour, baking powder, and salt.
Use a pastry blender, fork, or fingers to cut in cold butter.
Pour in buttermilk and mix just until everything is very moist. The dough should not be liquid, but it will be very wet. You can add a bit more butter milk if necessary, or a bit less.
Generously sprinkle flour on work area and turn wet dough out. Flour hands and gently pat and press dough into a 1 inch thick circle.
Use a biscuit cutter or an upside down glass to cut into rounds. You can re-work the scrap dough once to make more biscuits.
Use a spatula to move the biscuits to a baking sheet or stone.
Brush a small amount of cream on the top of each biscuit and sprinkle the top with sugar.
Bake at 450 degrees for 12-14 minutes.

 The other night I made crockpot lasagna for dinner (who knew you could cook lasagna in a crockpot?!) and threw this breadstick dough in the bread machine on the timer.  Unfortunately, as dinner time approached, I got hung up at the doctor’s office with Lilly and gave Bob a call. 

“Hey, it looks like I’m going to be here for a long while.  I guess I’ll stop and buy us some breadsticks from Spaghetti Express since I won’t be home in time to get the homemade ones on the table on time.”

“I can do that!  Is there directions somewhere?  I can make them!  Let me do it!  I want to help!!”

Thinking to myself.  Well Hell.  What’s the worst that can happen here?  If he fails I stop at the spaghetti joint, or if he succeeds we have cheap, and hopefully edible, breadsticks.  Come on Angie.  Live on the edge, it’s unlikely he can burn down the kitchen making breadsticks.  Besides.  He wants to help.  You must encourage such behaviors.

“Yeah!  O.k. the recipe is on my desk.  You’ll need to use the pastry board behind the sink.  And you might as well take some pictures.”

5 minutes later . . . my cell phone rings.

“Hiya Babe, what’s up?”

“Sh!t.  What the frick am I supposed to do with this gooey stuff - it’s all over my hands and I THINK THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.  Frick, frick, frick.”

“Did you flour the pasty board?”

“Er.  Uh, no, IT DOESN’T SAY TO DO THAT.  What does that even mean?”

Somehow, Bob figured out how to make these work.  I know, because they were yum-tastic.  The kids and I were all over these!  They put “Spaghetti Express” to shame.  Now, I’m going to turn things over to Bob, since he did the bulk of the work.  All I did was toss the stuff in the bread machine, set the timer, and offer morale support via phone.  Oh.  And eat them.  Yeah.  I did that, too. 

If you run into trouble I’d be glad to offer you morale support as well.  Just shoot me an email.  I think you’ll have better luck though, because I’ve written “on a floured surface” into the directions.  And like I said, live on the edge.  Now, here’s Bob . . .

The Elephant and the 3 Blind Men

You all know the parable of the elephant and the 3 blind men, right?  Maybe not. I’ll repeat it here, just to be safe.

You see, there were these 3 blind men and an elephant. A fourth man (I don’t know if he was sighted or not; I do know he was a troublemaker) asked, “Tell me what an elephant is like, gentlemen?”

“An elephant is large and cylindrical, like a tree.”

“No,” the second blind man spoke up. “an elephant is long, like a snake, with a hairy head.”

“You’ve both lost it.  An elephant is neither of those.  An elephant is somewhere in the middle, wet, and hangs down from the trees.”

The first man was, of course, hanging on to the elephant’s leg; the second man, the elephant’s tail, and the third the elephant’s trunk.  You see, human beings often interpret events from their own limited perspectives.

Anyways, I think Angie Pangie might have incorrectly interpreted that event, and given you the wrong impression.  In fact, her little tale is completely inaccurate.

I didn’t say the stuff was gooey.

I said it was sticky.

So, anyways, the  real directions for these are down below.  But, if you’re curious, here’s how I made them:

Take the dough that Angie Pangie mixed up in the bread machine.
Put the dough on the cutting board thingy.

Panic.  Call Angie Pangie for advice.
Scrape dough into a bowl.

Dump flour out on cutting board.

Brush all the extra flour off the cutting board into the sink.
Roll out the dough into a 10 x 12 inch rectangle.

Use a meat cleaver to cut the dough into 12-inch long strips around half an inch wide.
Realize you don’t have enough breadsticks for your family and cut those all in half.
Twist each of the strips. This is harder than it sounds, by the way.

Forget about the strips for half an hour or so, purely by accident.
Set the oven at 375 and set the timer for 15 minutes.
Open the empty oven.  Look around to see if anyone noticed you forgot to put the breadsticks in.
Put the breadsticks in, and let ‘em cook for 15 minutes.
As Angie walks through the door, look panicked.
Beg her to do the thingy with the butter, and the garlic salt, and whatnot.

Here’s the recipe:

Breadsticks

Adapted from Recipezaar

1 cup warm water
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup canola or vegetable oil
3 cups bread flour
2 1/2 teaspoons yeast
Garlic salt
Shredded Parmesan cheese

Mix dough using your favorite method- bread machine, mixer or by hand.
You can allow these to rise and punch them down once before you roll them out, if you desire, but it is not necessary.
Roll out into a 10×12 inch rectangle on a floured surface. 
Use a butter knife, or a pastry cutter, and cut into strips about 3/4 inch wide.
Give each strip a twist and place on a greased cookie sheet.
Let rise for at least 20 minutes.
Bake at 375 for 10-15 minutes.
Brush with butter and sprinkle with garlic salt and parmesan cheese.

You all remember Popeye, right?

“I had all I can stand.  I can’t stands no more!”

No. More. Fish.  I can’t stands no more!  Except for one small problem.  I said I would make one fish recipe a week during lent.  And I just counted, and there are 10 days of Lent left.  Crap. 

I’m really trying.  Fish is o.k., I just don’t want to eat it once a week, ya know?  Thank goodness I’m not Catholic.  I just couldn’t deal.  I guess I don’t have the wherewithal.  (I’ve always wanted a reason to type that word:  wherewithal.  Strange word, don’t you think?)

Well, anyhow, since I promised I would make one fish recipe a week, I’m going to follow through.  That’s right.  You can count on me.  I’m trustworthy, honest, and sick to death of fish.  So, I’m going to cheat a bit and make King Crab Puffs.

 That’s not really cheating.  It’s crab, which is seafood, and it’s the same thing as far as the food pyramid is concerned.  Of course, I’m pretty sure chicken, beef, and fish are all the same thing on the food pyramid.  But, let’s not think about that.  Let’s think about cheesy, delectable King Crab Puffs.  Hot from the oven . . . Mmmm.

These are super simple.  They would make a great appetizer, or you can use them like I did and serve them along with soup and salad (we’re having potato soup with our puffs).  And, in a pinch, they count as a fish recipe for Lent. 

It’s kind of interesting how I found this recipe, you see, my Mother in Law is one of the kindest ladies I know.  If your kid is selling something, you really need to seek her out, because you’re pretty much guaranteed a sale.  This is how she ends up with a dozen magazine subscriptions - she buys one from every kid that’s selling magazines.  Recently she brought over her latest stack (she gives them to me, I told you, she’s kind) and it included a publication I’ve never purchased before, Simple and Delicious Magazine.  So far, I’m really impressed with this magazine.  It has good recipes for everyday food that my family will like.  I was able to pull 30-some recipes from one issue that I knew I would be willing to try.  That’s a lot for one magazine, folks!  Anyhow, that’s where this recipe comes from, along with many others recipes I’ll be cooking in upcoming months.  Well, on with it then . . .

King Crab Puffs
Adapted from: Simple and Delicious Magazine

(can be doubled)  As written makes about 2 dozen.
1 can (6 ounces) crabmeat, drained, flaked and cartilage removed
1 large green onion, chopped
1/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup butter, cubed
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup all purpose flour
2 eggs

Preheat oven to 400F degrees.  Line baking sheets with parchment paper.
In small bowl combine crab, green onion, cheese, Worcestershire sauce, and mustard.  Set aside.

In a large saucepan, bring water, butter, and salt to a boil.
Add flour all at once and stir until a smooth ball forms.  Remove from heat and let stand for 5 minutes.
Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.  Continue beating until mixture is smooth and shiny.  Stir in crab mixture.

Drop by teaspoonfuls on baking sheets, about 2 inches apart.  Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown. 

Remove to wire racks, serve warm.